Homepage FM - coming soon! WMA Realplayer Winamp Now playing...
Welcome to steves-homepage! Dec 7th, 2019, 5:11pm
Welcome, Guest. Please Login.


Home Search Online Games Login
Pages: 1
Send Topic Print
new government retirement scheme (Read 1899 times)
chub
(Offline)
Media Exchange Member
*****




Posts: 399
Gender: male
new government retirement scheme
Aug 10th, 2009, 7:09pm
 
Subject: From the office of the Prime Minister
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
10 Downing Street
 
London  SW1
 
 
 
Dear People of the  United Kingdom
 
Due to the current financial situation caused by the slowdown of the economy, your Government has decided to implement a scheme to put workers 50 years of age and older on early retirement. This scheme will be known as RAPE (Retire Aged People Early).
 
Persons selected to be RAPED can apply to the government to be eligible for the SHAFT scheme (Special Help After Forced Termination).
 
Persons who have been RAPED and SHAFTED will be reviewed under the SCREW program (Scheme Covering Retired Early Workers). A person may be RAPED once, SHAFTED twice and SCREWED as many times as the government deems appropriate.
 
Only persons who have been RAPED can get AIDS (Additional Income for Dependants & Spouse) or HERPES (Half Earnings for Retired Personnel Early Severance). Obviously, persons who have AIDS or HERPES will not be SHAFTED or SCREWED any further by the government.
 
Persons who are not RAPED and are staying on, will receive as much SHIT (Special High Intensity Training) as possible. The government has always prided itself in the amount of SHIT it gives out. Should you feel that you do not receive enough SHIT, please bring this to the attention of your local MP. They have been trained to give you all the SHIT you can handle.
 
Sincerely,
 
Gordon Brown
 
Back to top
 
 

why rest on your laurels when you can rest on your hardys!
  IP Logged
haga
(Offline)
Administrator
*****




Posts: 3330
Gender: male
Re: new government retirement scheme
Reply #1 - Aug 13th, 2009, 9:18pm
 
lol mate, I like it   Grin Grin Grin
Back to top
 
 
  IP Logged
ultramol
(Offline)
God
*****




Posts: 244
Gender: male
Re: new government retirement scheme
Reply #2 - Aug 14th, 2009, 6:39pm
 
Very funny Chub, I think we are all in the (special high intensity training). Up to our effing necks in it !!
Back to top
 
 
  IP Logged
Markymarc
(Offline)
Media Exchange Member
*****




Posts: 361
Gender: male
Re: new government retirement scheme
Reply #3 - Aug 21st, 2009, 7:19pm
 
lol
Back to top
 
 
  IP Logged
Pages: 1
Send Topic Print