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Your Thoughts pls ............. (Read 3912 times)
cameracab
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Your Thoughts pls .............
Aug 20th, 2006, 3:01pm
 
Was wondering what everybody thought about this statement found on another site ............
 
 
 
REST OF THE WORLD VERSION  
The squirrel works hard in the withering heat all summer long,  
building and improving his house and laying up supplies for the  
winter. The grasshopper thinks he's a fool, and laughs and dances  
and plays the summer away. Come winter, the squirrel is warm and  
well fed. The shivering grasshopper has no food or shelter, so he  
dies out in the cold.  
 
THE END  
 
THE BRITISH VERSION:  
The squirrel works hard in the withering heat all summer long,  
building his house and laying up supplies for the winter. The  
grasshopper thinks he's a fool, and laughs and dances and plays the  
summer away. Come winter, the squirrel is warm and well fed.  
A social worker finds the shivering grasshopper, calls a press  
conference and demands to know why the squirrel should be allowed  
to be warm and well fed while others less fortunate, like the  
grasshopper,are cold and starving. The BBC shows up to provide live coverage of the shivering grasshopper; with cuts to a video of the squirrel in his comfortable warm home with a table laden with food.  
The British press inform people that they should be ashamed that in  
a country of such wealth, this poor grasshopper is allowed to  
suffer so while others have plenty. The Labour Party, Greenpeace,  
Animal Rights and The Grasshopper Council of GB demonstrate in  
front of the squirrel's house.  
The BBC, interrupting a cultural festival special from Notting Hill with  
breaking news, broadcasts a multi cultural choir singing "We Shall  
Overcome"; Ken Livingstone rants in an interview with Trevor  
McDonald that the squirrel has gotten rich off the backs of  
grasshoppers, and calls for an immediate tax hike  
on the squirrel to make him pay his "fair share" and increases the charge for squirrels to enter inner London.  
In response to pressure from the media, the Government drafts the  
Economic Equity and Grasshopper Anti Discrimination Act,  
are reassessed. He is taken to court and fined for failing to hire  
grasshoppers as builders for the work he was doing on his home and  
an additional fine for contempt when he told the court the  
grasshopper did not want to work.  
 
 
The grasshopper is provided with a council house, financial aid to  
furnish it and an account with a local taxi firm to ensure he can  
be socially mobile. The squirrel's food is seized and re distributed to the  
more needy members of society, in this case the grasshopper.  
Without enough money to buy more food, to pay the fine and his  
newly imposed retroactive taxes, the squirrel has to downsize and  
start building a new home. The local authority takes over his old  
home and utilises it as a temporary home for asylum seeking cats  
who had hijacked a plane to get to Britain as they had to share their country of origin with mice. On arrival they tried to blow up the airport  
because of Britain's apparent love of dogs.  
 
The cats had been arrested for the international offence of  
hijacking and attempt bombing but were immediately released  
because the police fed them pilchards instead of salmon whilst in custody. Initial moves to then return them to their own country were abandoned because it was feared they would face death by the mice. The cats devise and start a scam to obtain money from peoples credit cards.  
 
A Panorama special shows the grasshopper finishing up the last of  
the squirrel's food, though spring is still months away, while the  
council house he is in, crumbles around him because he hasn't  
bothered to maintain the house. He is shown to be taking drugs.  
Inadequate government funding is blamed for the grasshopper's drug  
'illness'.  
 
The cats seek recompense in the British courts for their treatment  
since arrival in the UK. The grasshopper gets arrested for stabbing an old dog during a burglary to get money for his drugs habit. He is imprisoned but  
released immediately because he has been in custody for a few  
weeks. He is placed in the care of the probation service to monitor and supervise him.  
Within a few weeks he has killed a guinea pig in a botched robbery.  
 
A commission of enquiry, that will eventually cost £10,000,000 and  
state the obvious, is set up.  
Additional money is put into funding a drug rehabilitation scheme  
for grasshoppers and legal aid for lawyers representing asylum  
seekers is increased. The asylum seeking cats are praised by the  
government for enriching Britain's multicultural diversity and dogs are criticised by the government for failing to befriend the cats.  
 
The grasshopper dies of a drug overdose. The usual sections of the  
press blame it on the obvious failure of government to address the root  
causes of despair arising from social inequity and his traumatic  
experience of prison. They call for the resignation of a minister.  
 
The cats are paid a million pounds each because their rights were  
infringed when the government failed to inform them there were mice  
in the United Kingdom.  
 
The squirrel, the dogs and the victims of the hijacking, the  
bombing, the burglaries and robberies have to pay an  
additional percentage on their credit cards to cover losses, their taxes are increased to pay for law and order and they are told that they will have to work beyond 65 because of a shortfall in government funds.
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there is only 1 cab ( dont let cheap imitations fool you )
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steandjan
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Re: Your Thoughts pls .............
Reply #1 - Aug 20th, 2006, 3:26pm
 
This seems a very racist post and doesnt mention the affect this will have on the poor and under represented pigeon,and other minority birds.
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steviejoex
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Re: Your Thoughts pls .............
Reply #2 - Aug 23rd, 2006, 12:52pm
 
yes but those pigeons come over here and tale our acorns and peanuts....id send them all back home Grin
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Ghoulie
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nil carborundum
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Re: Your Thoughts pls .............
Reply #3 - Aug 25th, 2006, 9:32am
 
any squirrels or pigeons (and magpies) get shot if they're daft enough to come in  my garden.
 
squirrels are tree rats that steal birds eggs and young birds
magpies steal birds eggs and young birds
pigeons are sky rats who leave pigeon poo all over the show - full of disease and it stinks
 
I am an animal / bird lover too !!
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chub
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Re: Your Thoughts pls .............
Reply #4 - Aug 25th, 2006, 3:17pm
 
tree rats and sky rats!!! are you a ratist?....c mon the rats Grin
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why rest on your laurels when you can rest on your hardys!
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steandjan
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Re: Your Thoughts pls .............
Reply #5 - Aug 25th, 2006, 8:03pm
 
Fair comment,the rat seems to do all the jobs no one else wants and gets no praise for it.
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drahcirk
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Re: Your Thoughts pls .............
Reply #6 - Aug 27th, 2006, 6:46am
 
this country wich was once great, has been cleverly been debritished bi by bit starting with wilson letting in all those ugandans back in the sixties , that forced two hundred thousand londoners out in to the surrounding shires, now those and others are being forced slowly further afield,over two million so far,.
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