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QUITE GOOD (Read 3210 times)
reddevil
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QUITE GOOD
Jul 28th, 2003, 5:43pm
 
THE ENGLISH LANGUAGE
 
  We'll begin with a box, and the plural is boxes;
 
  but the plural of ox became oxen not oxes.
 
  One fowl is a goose, but two are called geese,
 
  yet the plural of moose should never be meese.
 
  You may find a lone mouse or a nest full of mice;
 
  yet the plural of house is houses, not hice.
 
  If the plural of man is always called men,
 
  why shouldn't the plural of pan be called pen?
 
  If I spoke of my foot and show you my feet,
 
  and I give you a boot, would a pair be called beet?
 
  If one is a tooth and a whole set are teeth,
 
  why shouldn't the plural of booth be called beeth?
 
  Then one may be that, and three would be those,
 
  yet hat in the plural would never be hose,
 
  and the plural of cat is cats, not cose.
 
  We speak of a brother and also of brethren,
 
  but though we say mother, we never say methren.
 
  Then the masculine pronouns are he, his and him,
 
  but imagine the feminine, she, shis and shim.
 
  Some reasons to be grateful if you grew up speaking English:
 
  1) The bandage was wound around the wound.
 
  2) The farm was used to produce produce.
 
  3) The dump was so full that it had to refuse more refuse.
 
  4) We must polish the Polish furniture.
 
  5) He could lead if he would get the lead out.
 
  6) The soldier decided to desert his dessert in the desert.
 
  7) Since there is no time like the present, he thought
 
  it was time to present the present.
 
  8) At the Army base, a bass was painted on the head of
 
  a bass drum.
 
  9) When shot at, the dove dove into the bushes.
 
  10) I did not object to the object.
 
  11) The insurance was invalid for the invalid.
 
  12) There was a row among the oarsmen about how to row.
 
  13) They were too close to the door to close it.
 
  14) The buck does funny things when the does are present.
 
  15) A seamstress and a sewer fell down into a sewer line.
 
  16) To help with planting, the farmer taught his sow to sow.
 
  17) The wind was too strong to wind the sail.
 
  18) After a number of Novocain injections, my jaw got number.
 
  19%2
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gorth
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Sweden, home of AIK!

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Re: QUITE GOOD
Reply #1 - Jul 28th, 2003, 10:25pm
 
Hi m8's,
 
No wonder you've got problems with foreign languages, when your own is such a mess. Grin
 
gorth 8) 8) 8)
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I am not as good as I once was, but am good once as I ever was.
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locktightT
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Re: QUITE GOOD
Reply #2 - Jul 29th, 2003, 8:26am
 
@Gorth
 
Too true mate, how people that do not live here manage to learn english I will never know, whats more baffling is the fact that they can speak english better than most english people will ever be able to speak one other language?
 
I guess we are lazy?
 
T
 
@Reddevil Nice1 m8 Grin
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reddevil
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Re: QUITE GOOD
Reply #3 - Jul 29th, 2003, 2:46pm
 
thanx m8's
 
 a SINGH once told firmly emphasizing on his words
that english was born in  ENGLAND, well spoken by the
COWBOYS and destroyed by the INDIANS !  Wink
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prezo
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Re: QUITE GOOD
Reply #4 - Jul 29th, 2003, 4:27pm
 
@ locktight
de carnt speke english as good as scousers can. Grin Grin
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locktightT
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Re: QUITE GOOD
Reply #5 - Jul 30th, 2003, 7:17am
 
Grin Wink
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